How to Cope with the Challenges of Being a New Mom

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Being a new mom can be a dream come true or an unexpected surprise for some, and an unexpected shock for other mothers.

Wherever you fall on that spectrum, the challenges of new motherhood are often similar. This can be comforting in itself because you know millions, billions of other mothers have dealt with the same challenges before you, and there is a wealth of mother-tested advice to help you cope too.

The Most Common Challenges of Being a New Mom

  • Baby Blues
  • Lack of sleep
  • Breastfeeding difficulty
  • Loss of time for yourself
  • A changed body

Baby Blues

Being pregnant creates its own hormone changes. Once you actually give birth, the delicate hormone balance you needed to grow your baby changes almost instantly. This prompts your body to start adjusting hormones again, helping you produce milk for your baby and moving back towards pre-pregnancy hormone levels.

These ongoing hormone changes can have a huge impact on your mood, making you feel alternately low and high. Combine this with a lack of regular sleep, and you’ve got quite an emotional challenge to deal with.

Baby blues usually resolve themselves with time as your hormones settle down. If they don’t or if you’re really struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out to a licensed therapist for help.

Lack of sleep

When we become a mom, we often don’t realize how important sleep is to our well-being and energy levels until we’re not getting enough of it. And with a new baby who needs to eat frequently, including the middle of the night, sleep can feel like a distant pipe dream.

This is one area where you shouldn’t wait to get help. Sleep is vital. Our brains and bodies simply cannot function without it. Mood swings can increase, you can start forgetting things, making mistakes, lose physical coordination (that’s really bad with an infant!), and a myriad other issues that you really don’t want happening.

If you aren’t getting enough sleep, call a family member or friend to come and care for the baby for a few hours while you pop in some ear plugs and get a good stretch of quality sleep. Babies are adorable and most people love looking after one for a while, especially if you’re also a special person to them.

Breastfeeding difficulty

Birthing a baby does not make you (or your baby!) an immediate expert or ‘natural’ with the bodily functions that follow. Breastfeeding is no different. This is a new experience and skill for you!

Breastfeeding is one of the most common challenges of being a new mom. Problems generating milk, getting the baby to latch on, and pain while breastfeeding are all normal. Ask for help from a lactation specialist or an experienced mother.

Be patient with yourself. Don’t expect immediate, world-class performance from your breasts or your baby.

Loss of time for yourself

Even if you were busy before the birth and didn’t feel like you had much ‘me time’, you will likely feel it more acutely after the birth. A new baby needs a lot of attention and, combined with a lack of sleep, it can feel like your whole life is being consumed by one thing and you have no time to yourself. This is normal – after all, your whole routine has changed!

It’s important to still feel like an individual, like yourself. There are a few ways you can deal with this.

Invite your friends to yourself, especially at a time when the baby is usually sleeping. You can also ask a friend or family member to babysit for an hour or so while you do something that’s just for you. Many mothers look for things they’d enjoy doing where they can take the baby, like walking in a park, reading while laying on the grass on a blanket, shopping at the mall with the baby in a stroller.

It’s an adjustment, for sure, but there are many things you can do practically so you still feel like yourself.

A changed body

Being pregnant with a growing belly is its own adjustment. Many women feel proud of their pregnancy body, with growing baby inside. After the birth, the baby that was inside the bump is now outside the bump, leaving excess skin, stubborn fat, and stretch marks that make your body look different again.

Even if you have a plan to work towards your pre-pregnancy body, that takes time, and in the meantime, you’ll be living with this newly-changed mom body.

It can help to remember the incredible thing your body has just accomplished: growing a tiny human being, bringing it into the world, and nourishing the new infant. Your body has been through a lot – it’s entitled to take a minute to recover before it has to work towards yet another shape.

Having a personal trainer can help, but this is not always a luxury a new mother can afford financially or time-wise. Going for regular walks is gentle exercise that can help your body regain strength and help you burn calories; it’s also great for your mental and emotional health.

Even with the above adjustments, becoming a new mother can feel overwhelming. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help from a licensed mental health therapist, especially one trained in postpartum challenges.

If you’re in the La Crescenta and Montrose area in California, Given Guidance Family Counseling is a great place to start. Our therapists love caring for new mothers and helping them find balance in their lives. Give us a call today at (818) 446-7488 to schedule your first session.